XXIII

I'm feeling pretty good about this year.

Introvert problems

My friend is urging me to go to a birthday party tonight, even though I have work tomorrow. 

I was this close to saying that I had to stay home because I haven't read A Dance with Dragons in weeks. 

But, you know, even though it's completely true... It's also undeniably lame and unpersuasive. So I'm going. 

Little wonders

I visited the OB Farmers Market for the first time with Mattie. It was all charming simply because I felt like I was thrown back into a whirlwind of Woodstock. Seriously, hippies everywhere. Old hippies, baby hippies, dog hippies. It was pretty remarkable.

I bought some divine cilantro jalapeno hummus. Matt also got some hummus and a sweet succulent. 

But my favorite part was when I bought a minimalist bracelet: some red crochet twine with a single golden feather. I had been debating between the red one and a brown one and the vendor said that the red one looked best on me. He then proceeded to give me a little discount. 

It's nice finding happiness in the little things. Like succulents, a feather charm, a friendly price cut, and the content lifestyle of people who do not allow unnecessary things to phase them.

Where my feet fail

My mind has been so restless these days, and my heart so heavy. I often find myself exhaling deeply as if I'm trying to stabilize a running breath. The thoughts that race through my mind evoke such a strong physical response, I honestly feel like I've been sprinting tirelessly. I guess it helped that I got some running in today where I got to trick my mind into thinking that my rapid heart rate is promoting the secretion of happy hormones and not a product of anxiety. 

However, these past couple of days have not been easy. My emotions have run the gamut of all things negative: there has been hurt, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, and resentment. But none compares to an immense sadness. 

But if anything positive is to come out of this, it's the recognition of the amazing people who have taken the time to be with me, whether they know about what's going on in my life or not. I have cried to my mother and brother, I have been prayed for over the phone by one of my dearest college friends, and I have cried with another who is going through something all too similar. And two of my dearest, long-time friends allowed me to be that embarassing public weeper, and comforted me the whole way.

And unbeknownst to them, there are people who have made me realize that I am surrounded by individuals of earnest compassion: a friend invited me to watch a documentary in the theater, my pastor and cousin visited me at work at 5 o'clock in the morning, and another suggested I go bike riding with him. 

All encounters have nurtured the healing process in a way. And knowing this gives me hope.

Seriously, what have I done to deserve the love and support of so many people?  

You're just my cup of tea

Genmai cha is my latest tea obsession.

DTLA with DPF

Boyfriend and books. These are a few of my favorite things.