Build me up, buttercup

I forgot how much updating resumes and cover letters bite. My procrastination is evident via me writing this very unnecessary post.

A coworker coincidentally mentioned that she could picture me in the ____masters program of my dreams___ at ___ dream university__ without ever knowing my goals. I've never mentioned the specifics of my dreams with anyone. No one. But if another person can believe in me as well as envision me to reach great heights, why shouldn't I? More importantly, why shouldn't I try?

So I've decided to throw my work experience and qualifications up to the four winds again, after spending some time coasting with two jobs. Luckily, my current attitude towards job hunting is a lot more pleasant than it was a year. It's more peaceful and definitely more prayerful. It's difficult, but I want to learn to trust in a plan that is deeper than my ambitions and castle building.

To be honest, I've actually been really content with the gig I have right now. I feel like I'm learning a lot of valuable things in my internship. And as for the coffee shop, I could rave incessantly about how positively that job has impacted me. I could preach it to the congregation and not be embarrassed about it at all. But I also do look forward to what the next chapter could be. I'm still young. And I'm at the point where I'm allowing the space between where I am and where I want to be to excite me and not petrify me.

My day off

Much to my disappointment, I had been reading several chapters of this from a pdf on a tablet. But now I've got my hands a bound book AND a cup of hot tea. This is so ideal.

I left my heart in San Francisco

obligatory SF heart picture

This will have been the third time I've gone to the Bay Area. The first two times I went are the precise reasons why I enjoy working in the Hillcrest/North Park neighborhoods of San Diego. Uptown SD and the Bay Area share an attractive vibe that is equal parts energetic and free-spirited. And I can see why that particular environment appeals to young adults. 

However, this third time made me realize just how full and vivacious Norcal truly is. It is such a people's city that brims at the rim with an independent spirit. 

It was a short vacation, but we're already looking forward to a second trip. 

Friday:

- Driving up the PCH
- Solvang, CA
- Big Sur cafe
- Bixby Bridge

- 12 total hours of driving

- Ate Thai food in the Mission District of SF, after which we went to a Japanese cocktail bar

Saturday:

- Hiked up Berkeley's Big C
- Cheeseboard pizza

- Philz Coffee

- Golden Gate Park: Japanese Tea Garden
- Moraga Street Stairs
- Union Square
- India buffet

Sunday:

- Brunch
- Drove home!

Do work.

Solvang, CA

Little Denmark.

Cousin lovin'

As far back as I can remember, I've always gravitated toward Caroline. It could be the closeness in age. But I'm sure it's because she's probably one of the most caring and supportive people that will ever grace God's green earth.

Funny story: just a couple of weeks after she had gotten back from teaching abroad in Korea, we went to a little kick back and my drunk ass started crying to her about my relationship woes. Never mind that I hadn't talked to her in a year. I'm convinced that if it had been anyone else I would have died from my own humiliation. I just don't allow myself to be that vulnerable to just anyone. But with Caroline, it's therapeutic.  

She just exudes a great aura of comfort and love, how could I not?

Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

I'm probably relatively biased when I say this, but I find that the most valuable inspiration (for me personally, right now) is rooted in my single friends. I see that there is a considerable amount of courage to be truly independent and self-reliant.

And although Paulo and I keep in contact, I am so determined to set myself apart and establish my own interests and goals. As the fog finally begins to lift from the disaster of this past month, I'm learning that it's revealing a beautiful opportunity for me to grow.

I remember a friend telling me how he wants to experience the full effect of a break up and the tumultuous heart break that follows (I'm looking at you Ryan!). And while I did say he was completely delusional, and while I will not miss the loss and helplessness I endured during that time, I can see its value. It's a bit maudlin, but I imagine rising up from the proverbial ashes is pretty character-defining.

So... San Francisco, Costa Rica, New York, Canada, a half marathon, working two part time jobs and volunteering with a non-profit on the side? Why the hell not.